140666

Joke of the Day

"Moths are really just butterflies on meth, all angry and shit while head-butting light bulbs and biting holes in your favorite shirt."

"We used to call a girl at work 'turtle.' When she's on her back she's fucked."

"Being attacked by a shark is frightening enough... But it's even more terrifying when you notice he also has a big cold sore on his lip."

"Just asked Siri. ""Surely it's not going to rain today?"" She said ""it will, and don't call me Shirley"" ...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode."

"Why did Pavlov have extra soft hair? Classical conditioning"

"What is the best joke that made you LOL?"

"What do you call a Mexican supremacist organization against civil rights? The Que Que Que."

"11 was a race horse 11 was 12 11 1 1 race 12 1 1 2"

"The opening ceremony for our ribbon repair business was pretty confusing."

"Receptionist: ""That lady in the waiting room is picking her nose."" Plastic Surgeon: ""Good! That'll save me some time. Send her right in."""