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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls."

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night and wondering if there really is a dog."

"I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex."

"Why should you never date an atom? The split is gonna be explosive"

"Mmmmmm---let me kiss 'em !! Q. Do ya know when a strip poker game is starting to get good?? A. When somebody's got a big pair showin !!!"

"[On the phone with the police for the 7th time in 2 weeks] ""Sir, again, we cannot arrest your cat"""

"How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers? Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?"

"My friend got a bad haircut today. I told him it will grow on him."

"What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'? The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her."

"If Rapunzel was a brunette, she'd have just opened the front door."