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Joke of the Day

"Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets."

"I really don't understand why people think mayweather is so great I'd much rather have June weather"

"You're an adult now. Stop lying about your life on Facebook and start doing it on LinkedIn"

"Why did Michael Brown rob the convenience store? He was so hungry he could eat a bullet."

"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger... ...But then it hit me"

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!"

"I honestly can't believe they've been together for 20 years. who? Deez nuts GOTEEEEEE I'm actually 45.... GOTEEEEEE"

"What did the pirate with a wheel in his pants say. Arr, I don't know what it is but it's drivin' me nuts!"

"Headline: ""Female-named hurricanes kill more than male hurricanes because people don't respect them, study finds"". AKA, ""My eye is up here""."

"Mickey Rourke needs to get beaten up at the beginning of every movie he's in so it explains his face."