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Joke of the Day

"July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers."

"Guys one of the Greek Gods is trying to destroy 80s music! H80s"

"January 20, 2017 The day America expires."

"(Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy."

"My friend was called fat today. I told him ""It'll be okay, just keep your chins up""."

"When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say ""Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"""

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black."

"Stupid Autocorrect you're always posting some thong you didn't Nintendo"

"Baby circumcision [Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/DbgAFxp.jpg)"

"What do you call a cow that will go down in history? Legendairy [From my young daughter]"