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Joke of the Day
"Resistance training But me dragging my kids into school."
Next Joke
"I'm in one of those moods that only a virgin sacrifice will appease."
"Things have really turned around for me since I re-named my penis and testicles ""JD Power and Associates""."
"(Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy."
"Just burned 2000 calories That's the last time I'll leave brownies in the oven while I nap"
"Who was the world's first carpenter? Eve. She made Adam's banana stand"
"Two redditors pass in an essay after the deadline - we took too long to make this page for you - try again and hopefully we will be fast enough this time"
"Whenever there is trouble, Justice League cums in a... Flash"
"Him: So whattayou wanna do? Her: I dunno Him: So...You wanna play video games? Her: No! Him: So...You wanna watch me play video games?"
"I wish there was some way to get rid of the stupid apple in this caramel apple."