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Joke of the Day

"Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one? Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted."

"""If you're having girl? Problems. I feel bad. For you? Son."" -Russian guy telling his pregnant wife he hopes it's a boy."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Donald Trump? One made a killer microwave."

"Today is world piles day Get yourself checked. If you don't have piles, celebrate for being a ""perfect asshole"" If you do have piles, still celebrate, for being a ""pain in the ass"""

"If you message me with thanks, please include what you're thanking me for. I've been counting my money and sniffing my fingers all morning."

"I love Easter. My unborn children get to play find the egg tonight."

"""My wife worked a 12-hour day and I asked what was for dinner"" I explain to the other homeless people."

"What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog? Deciding which to tell people first."

"Why do chicken coups have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan."

"Why do fat chicks give the best head? Because they have to."