85061

Joke of the Day

"""My wife worked a 12-hour day and I asked what was for dinner"" I explain to the other homeless people."

"According to the employee handbook, I only require to show up sober. It doesn't say I can't drink once I get here."

"Close the door. You're letting the wifi out."

"I can't have been the only one who was confused by the Rosa Parks story as a kid, on a basis of ""the cool kids sit in the back of the bus."""

"Why should you never have sex in an Olive Garden? Because when you're there, you're family."

"Did you hear about the organic compound who became a bully? Mean ether."

"I'm not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me ""2mer is B-9, woot!"""

"Knowing its International Women's Day is the only thing I know about women."

"I got a $100 bill tattood on my penis, if the wife wants to blow $100 she doesn't even need to leave the house."

"My nan used to always tell me ""only boring people get bored"" I prefer to call it 'entertainmentally challenged'..."