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Joke of the Day
"Why do fat chicks give the best head? Because they have to."
Next Joke
"I can't wait to tell my Grandkids, ""Back when I was kid, we were smarter than our phones!"""
"How do you know if someone's vegan? Someone else will make a vegan joke, then when the vegan points out that non vegans refer to veganism more than vegans do, some jackass will say ""found the vegan"""
"""911 what's your em-"" STAMPEDE ""slow down sir"" IN THE GORGE ""sir I'm gonna need you t-"" SIMBAS DOWN THERE"
"I ate my dog because it ate my homework. Just kidding, I ate it because I'm Asian."
"Hedgehogs Why can't they just share the hedge."
"Dear Face Book you keep offering up people for me to friend, but then you get all concerned and ask me how I know them. You can't be the pimp and the cop!"
"GOOD COP: He won't talk except in sign language BAD COP: I just cut off his left hand BAD PUN COP: He still has the right to remain silent"
"Son, when you were born I promised you that I would make sure that you would be a household name. So you see, that's why I named you Kleenex."
"My grandpa is just like a plant. If you don't feed him, he'll die. Plus, he's super quiet when he's in the room watching you have sex."