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Joke of the Day
"Bought shoes from a drug dealer Not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"
Next Joke
"Dave drowned So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. It's what he would have wanted. (Gary Delaney)"
"On Hitler's birthday my company is discounting everything... Everything will be nein percent off. My mother actually came up with this..not sure if I should be concerned."
"Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger kill insects? Because he's an ex-terminator"
"Ok, so, for some reason, my lesbian neighbours just gave me a brand new Rolex... I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""
"[takes e-cig from guy beside me & takes a hit] dude, your e-cig is broken GUY BESIDE ME: give me back my clarinet"
"When I study, I highlight with a black permanent marker, forcing my brain to memorize that shit."
"What do steaks and pot brownies have in common? If you eat either of them in India you'll get stoned."
"What is a rapper's favorite tea? Black boo-tea"
"Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing? In case you get a hole in one."