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Joke of the Day

"Ok, so, for some reason, my lesbian neighbours just gave me a brand new Rolex... I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"What kind of shrimp does Chris Brown like? Battered shrimp."

"Posting a Joke on reddit is like going to a bar... You see the same shit repeated every week, but you can't stop from yourself from going there."

"My daughter bought a new mattress for when she goes off to school, but was undecided about whether to keep it. I told her to sleep on it."

"A musician, a lumberjack, and a mathematician were in a room together... They made a log-rhythm."

"Did you hear about the guy who is both a taxidermist and veterinarian? He has a sign on the door that says ""Either way, you get your dog back."""

"How do you tell the difference between a Syrian hospital and an ISIS military base? I don't know either, Johnny, just fly the drone."

"Did you hear about the pirate porno? All hands on dick!"

"What were those two people from VeggieTales? Oh yea, Barrackoli and Cucumberbatch."

"What do you call a couple of asses standing next to eachother in an asparagus field? An ass-pair, I guess?"