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Joke of the Day

"A scientist was playing scrabble with his wife She played ""PINE"", he had ""LMHIOJK"". He played all of his letters at once to form a 8-letter word along with the ""N"". What did he make? H20"

"Question: What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub? Answer: One has hope in her soul the other has soap in her hole."

"I'll take a Clooney, and 2 Upton's please. Turned to my wife and said, ""Amazon is buying Twitch for 1 billion. She said ""the dancer?"" . . yea hun, the dancer."

"What do you call someone who can't take a joke about cancer? Someone with no sense of tumor."

"A person automatically becomes ten times more attractive when you find out they like you!!!"

"A friend asked me if I'd rather marry a mediocre woman, or my dream girl-- plus a dick. ""That's easy,"" I said. ""I don't want to settle for average. I'll take the girl with two dicks."""

"2 Cats on the Titanic So there were 2 cats on the Titanic. The first was called ""One two three"" and the other was ""Un deux trois"". ""One two three"" cat was rescued. But ""Un deux trois"" cat sank."

"You can call me a ""simpleton"" if you choose. But I ask you this. What is that. What is simpleton, is that like a good or bad thing, not sure"

"How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, wait. That's a hardware problem. [source](http://nerdfighteria.info/video/54/Zrnd63DAH8o)"

"My friend is an anorexic atheist. He thin."