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Joke of the Day

"Survey Says A survey found that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house, and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife."

"I'm not late, I'm just giving you extra time to do shit on your phone."

"Men can't have multiple orgasms so having sex several times is hard Then soft, then hard, then soft"

"What do you call a cashew in space? An astronut."

"A man cheats... on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"I shit my pants the other day. Which is funny, because I don't remember eating them."

"ur honor, i call GOD as my witness *jury gasps* *nothimg happens* *slowley, a man w/ beard rises from the stands* damit no Gary sit down"

"Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb? He really wasn't feeling up to it."

"My Archimedes Heel is Greek references"

"A Pole was playing chess.. ."