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Joke of the Day

"The soldier survived pepper spray and mustard gas He is now a seasoned veteran."

"What's the only thing better than Roses on a Piano? Answer: Tulips on an Organ."

"Listen, you should really give your mother a call. She's concerned that ""the haters"" in her Zumba class are organizing and gaining power."

"Why does Euler's Number say it's ""going number 2"" when it pees? Because its natural log is 1. I'll show myself out now."

"What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant."

"FACT: Carrots may be good for your eyes but alcohol will double your vision."

"What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels..."

"How do fat women defy physics? Because the heavier they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"My girlfriend started biting her lip to look sexy... How do I tell her it's supposed to be the bottom lip?"

"[jail] INMATE: so what are ya in for? BIG BAD WOLF: well I huffed and I puffed and then I got nabbed for possession INMATE: goddam pigs"