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Joke of the Day
"The soldier survived pepper spray and mustard gas He is now a seasoned veteran."
Next Joke
"I should have used more oils to get this off easier.. I'm trying to jerk it off but it won't come. Honey, dinner is stuck to the pan."
"How do you catch an orange elephant? I don't know. I've never seen an orange elephant."
"Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig? Pigs don't have red noses."
"You really have to hand it to blind prostitutes."
"I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, ""Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side."" It made me cross."
"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."
"Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money? In a shavings account."
"With all the negativity world-wide lately, it's nice to see Charlie Sheen has announced something positive"
"DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this"