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Joke of the Day

"Listen, you should really give your mother a call. She's concerned that ""the haters"" in her Zumba class are organizing and gaining power."

"Overheard: ""Hey, I think that weirdo is listening to our conversation."""

"My recipe for vodka-flavoured brats never caught on. It was the Absolut wurst."

"What is Moby Dicks dad's name? Poppa Boner"

"Whoever you are, you can't deny that Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes sounds like a legitimate title. Don't act like you wouldn't read it."

"I came back from war to find out that I had missed the birth of my wife's second child. Turns out, I also missed the conception."

"I had a one night stand yesterday..but then today I decided to return it to ikea"

"Heard of the new gay website? It's colon, enter, pound, pound, pound."

"Its not what it looks like officer! ""you were driving down the highway taking selfies singing n'sync"" Ok I guess it was what it looked like"

"How much do you weigh after eating Chinese food? Wonton"