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Joke of the Day

"Magic Q: What does ""Magic"" stand for in Ervin ""Magic"" Johnsons' name? A: **M**y **A**ss **G**ot **I**nfected **C**oach!"

"I bought a shower curtain on Amazon once and now every time I log in Amazon acts like I'm the guy who fucking loves buying shower curtains."

"No matter how angry you get about something... ... you can't any angrier than a midget with a yo-yo."

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Why do groups of birds always seem so shady? cuz they're always flockin' around"

"Twitter is the government's elaborate plan to keep us all off the streets"

"This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer corpses over zombies? Corpses are still underground."

"Army Jokes by Major Laugh"

"Did you hear about the ghost who got put in prison? He was charged with possession."

"What has 90 balls and screws old women? Bingo!"