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Joke of the Day

"I have been struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide but my friends have been very supportive... they insist that I go through with it."

"Why is K-9 another term for a dog? Because if it was a cat, it would be a K-10."

"I just emailed ""This is a robbery!"" to my online bank. Will they just put the $$ in my account or do I have to wait for an email back?"

"I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to."

"The teacher asks little Timmy why he brought his cat into school... and he replied, "" My daddy said to my mommy he's going to eat that pussy tonight!"""

"The next Fast and the Furious should just be two hours of a guy doing steroids inside of a Nissan Cube."

"In this holiday season I really gotta give a shout out to those who've always been around for me. Mr. Chen and his family at the restaurant."

"The four states of matter: Solid Liquid Gas Black"

"Why should you leery of stairs? Because they are always up to something."

"Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*"