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Joke of the Day

"In this holiday season I really gotta give a shout out to those who've always been around for me. Mr. Chen and his family at the restaurant."

Next Joke
 
"What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction? You rub them the wrong way"
"A bit rapey.. The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did too, she began running so I ran too, she screamed so I screamed as well. I never even saw what we were running from."
"Who is William Shatner's mythical nemesis? The Lepre-khaaaaannnnn!!!!!"
"If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I'd have $ 6.30 now"
"Let he has never told a bad joke Cast the first tomato"
"You remind me of my step-son... I'm only nice to you because I'm fucking your mother"
"I've gone from agony to ecstasy in this last week. Hopefully, by the end of this month... ...I'll be done reading this dictionary."
"Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk."
"With four days left until the end of the world... I should really try to get better at subtraction."