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Joke of the Day

"My wife wasn't amused... Her: Be careful traffic is crazy. Me: If I can handle you, traffic should be a cinch!"

"I can't believe I just stopped a girl from being rapped. I got tired and stopped chasing her."

"What could be a good name for a really inappropriate French porno? The Princess and the Frog"

"If you accidentally drop a roll of toilet paper while sitting down, it will roll approximately 65 feet away from you. Science."

"My wife asked me about where to put a dish when unloading the dishwasher... I looked at her and said ""As a French whore would say 'Put it anywhere it fits.'"

"I can't help but think that The Last Supper must have been a bit tense... ...with Jesus relating the bread to his broken skin and the wine to his own blood. I bet no one touched the meatballs."

"Eddie's father called up to him 'Eddie if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go crazy!' Eddy replied 'I think you are already I stopped playing half an hour ago.'"

"5: Can you cut off the skin? Me: What? 5: *holds up sandwich* the skin M: The crust? 5: yeah M: No, and you sound like a serial killer."

"Just saw myself naked in a full length mirror, and I had an epiphany. Either someone in my family tree had sex with the baboon or pissed off a gypsy."

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me... She calls me her sixty second lover...."