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Joke of the Day

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me... She calls me her sixty second lover...."

"""They dared me to"" is always a valid excuse."

"ME: Good date? FRIEND: Ok. Until he got undressed ME: Then what? FRIEND: [sticks out pinky finger] ME: Ah. Then he drank tea in a fancy way"

"A person is sentenced to death by freezing It's justice."

"The Grammar Nazis burst in. ""We know you're harbouring Jews, Mrs Gies"" ""There ain't no Jews here!"" ""Double negative! Search the attic, boys"""

"Why was the broom late ? It over swept !"

"Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls."

"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"

"Don't forget to insult random strangers on the internet today, morons. <3"

"(taken from my kid's favorite show 'Arthur') What is a sea monster's favorite meal? Fish and Ships"