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Joke of the Day

"A duck goes into a drug store He says gimee some chap stick put it on my bill"

"If I text you first you are probably amazing."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic druggie lawyer who just finished rehab? He's already started suing again."

"I think mountains are funny.... they're *hill areas*"

"What do you call a burnt nugget? nigget"

"What does Justin Timberlake say when he's going to the bathroom? ""It's Gonna Be Pee"""

"Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television."

"I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat."

"Why can't you trust a snowman? Because they're all a bunch of flakes"

"Why did the witch have to move out of her gingerbread house? The property taxes were gastronomical."