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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic druggie lawyer who just finished rehab? He's already started suing again."

"What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD? Four whore and seven beers ago...."

"I always cry after sex. God, I fcuking hate prison!!!!!!!"

"Either that loud scream was a patient yelling for help or Fred pulled the string on the bird's tail for quitting time- Why my cw hates me"

"One day a man was making a password... He tried the password ""my penis"". The laptop said, ""Error, not long enough."""

"Stevie Wonder Have you seen Stevie Wonders wife & kids lately? - No? Neither has he"

"friend: here he comes. dont set him off again. me: ok me&friend: hey JADEN SMITH: What If We Are the Hay, And The World Is Harvesting Us?"

"Laugh at something on your phone and wait for me to ask what it is. See your grandchildren grow old. Witness the death of the sun."

"A blonde is walking down the street with a pig on a leash. Someone approaches and says, ""Cool! Where did you get that?"" The pig replies, ""I won her in a raffle."""

"The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered."