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Joke of the Day

"It's easier to find the needle in the haystack when you bring a flamethrower. That's a fact, jack. Merica."

"I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME."

"Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes."

"Why did sally fall of the swing ? She didn't have any arms . Knock-Knock Who's there ? Not Sally !"

"Bath in Milk Why do you take baths in milk? I can not find a cow tall enough for a shower."

"Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She threw away all of the W's."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three, a left ear, right ear, and a Final Frontier."

"Unless the girl is hot, when she asks how I want my hair cut, I'll say ""In silence"""

"I was an army sniper, until I was discharged. It must have been my accuracy. It was very hit and miss."

"I've Just Set Up a Brothel At Sea for Horny Sailors... business is generally good, but clients tend come in large waves."