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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing? A: The balls are lighter and you don't have to change shoes."

"Why are jokes in base 8 not funny? Because 7,10,11!"

"My nephew told me all he wants for Christmas is his dead dog back. Can't WAIT to see his face when I wrap it up and stick it under the tree."

"*writing classic song* Damn, I have the ""For he's a jolly good fellow"" part repeating three times but how am I gonna wrap this bad boy up?"

"My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other. She is my buttercup and i'm her useless sack of s hit."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, ""Sure, what Volume would you like?"""

"""What's The Pink Panther's favourite type of jacket?"" ""No idea."" ""Denim."" ""Denim?"" ""Denim denim denim denim denim..."""

"Where do Eskimos train their dogs ? In the mush room !"

"Her: I like your hair. Did you get it cut? Me: I washed it Her: but it looks really different Me: yeah I used water this time"

"So a three legged dog walks into a bar and says, ""I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw."""