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Joke of the Day

"Her: I like your hair. Did you get it cut? Me: I washed it Her: but it looks really different Me: yeah I used water this time"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It doesn't last long for fat people."

"Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!"

"Big girls are like mopeds I'll get drunk and wreck them too."

"Friend at work hit me with this. (Sorry if repost.) If a Stork brings white babies, and a Crow brings black babies. What brings no babies? The Swallow."

"90% of Men in Chicago have had shower sex The other 10% have never been to prison."

"Why does it feel like time slows down during the day when you're at work and rapidly speeds up at night when you get home?"

"What's worse then 10 dead babies in a barrel? 1 dead baby in 10 barrels. EDIT: dumpsters, sorry guise."

"My pal is 6 ft 5, and his wife of ten years is only 3ft 10. After a decade of marriage he's still nuts over her."

"What do you get when you cross an iPad with a Christmas Tree? A PiNEAPPLE! Get it? ;-D"