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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other. She is my buttercup and i'm her useless sack of s hit."

"What did the Leper say to the Prostitute? Keep the tip."

"A man walks into a restaurant and asks, ""You got any spare ribs?"" The owner says, ""Nope. I need all of mine."""

"How to insult a nerd ""Is rhat an Apple Watch?"""

"Did you hear about the bear that fell into water and disappeared? He was polar."

"You'll never believe who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor! Everybody."

"What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? DAMN! My friend told me this the other day not sure where it came from but I laughed "

"My piss looks and smells like gasoline this morning. My piss does impersonations of other liquids. That's talented piss."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, because he ain't coming over to you."

"I'm never buying a fish fryer from Linkin Park ever again. I fried so hard, and got sole far, but in the end it doesn't even batter!"