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Joke of the Day
"What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short."
Next Joke
"What does GOP mean? ""GOP"" is onomatopoeic: it's the sound of anonymous penetration in public bathrooms late at night. -&y"
"After my most recent divorce, I'm now paying alimony to BOTH of my ex-wives... Owe for two."
"I am religious. I religiously avoid church."
"Who sculpted Mount Rushmore? George Washington Carver."
"Just beat Guitar Hero on expert in case anyone is looking for a virgin to sacrifice before midnight."
"Mrs Claus hospitalised with severe cramps. Heavy Christmas period to blame."
"If you don't have a condom, put a stone in your shoe.. ...it'll make you limp."
"How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors? They just have a feel for that kind of thing."
"[getting my picture taking with the sports team mascot] ""I know you're not really an armadillo"""