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Joke of the Day

"cost of the ice cream my kid threw a tantrum in the grocery store to get: $5 the look on his face when I ate it for dinner: priceless"

"Enter the dragon Q: What do you call a martial arts expert with a sore patella? A: Bruised knee"

"What would a woodchuck do if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Go chuck itself of course."

"How I fall asleep People get jealous of me because of how fast I fall asleep so I'm going to share my secret. First of all, ally you have to do is close your ey..."

"some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can't even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor"

"Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ? They can lighten your load !"

"I went for my prostate examination this morning.After inserting a finger into my arse and having a good feel around, the doctor looked at me and said, ""that should be my finger, not yours"""

"Nephew: Were the scorpions around when there were dinosaurs? Me: You mean like the band?"

"""This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."""

"I wanted a dog. My wife wanted a cat. We had to compromise so we got a cat."