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Joke of the Day

"""This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."""

"Phone on silent. 10 missed calls. Turns volume to loudest. Nobody calls All damn Day."

"[deathbed] Son....come closer ""Yes dad?"" We need a new man of the house ""I'd-"" *presses fake mustache into his hands* Give this to your sister"

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? - Quattro Sink-o"

"A bully, a baby, and a carrot walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What'll you have, Mr. Boehner?"""

"What do you call Neil deGrasse Tyson pouring champagne all over his naked chest? An astro-fizzy-tits"

"What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaains"

"I really don't want to be a professional web developper Selling my <body> feels wrong."

"If you're OCD and you know it, wash your hands."

"tell me your jokes"