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Joke of the Day

"How I fall asleep People get jealous of me because of how fast I fall asleep so I'm going to share my secret. First of all, ally you have to do is close your ey..."

"If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped What's a tiger ? A stri-ped !"

"No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed..."

"Need quick joke idea before I leave work My boss is requiring me to tell one funny quick joke before I leave work. I need your help Reddit!"

"Someone should invent a version of Twitter for people who spell things like rappers. They could call it ""twita"". Dat would b nize"

"Can February march? April may."

"What is the best use for a wet dog?[x-post from /r/MeanJokes] Getting the smell of white people out of your house."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a **great** year."

"My wife cheated on me after I told her about my watchmaker buddy... I guess I should get a big clock, too."

"I left work in slow motion but it didn't blow up behind me. This is bullshit."