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Joke of the Day
"Nephew: Were the scorpions around when there were dinosaurs? Me: You mean like the band?"
Next Joke
 
"I applied for a position as a stenographer, but I was disqualified when the blood test came back. Turns out I'm Type-O Plentiful."
"[looking at wife as firefighters cut me out of baby swing at playground] It doesn't say its specifically for babies, Karen"
"Hey girl, I've got a sex-Ed project due tomorrow... And I need a 69 to pass."
"Why are Mexicans bad at UNO? They steal all the green cards."
"I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather's pubic hair than ""pull an all-nighter"" with you."
"A man with a gun shot his keyboard it typed POW"
"How do you tell which nurse is the head nurse? shes the one with dirty knees"
"a self-checkout line with 0 mirrors what a joke"
"A liar, a murderer, a cheater walk in to a bar... The Patriots must be in town."