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Joke of the Day

"Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot."

"There's only one problem with reading articles about space based technology It all goes waaaay over my head."

"So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I'm pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood."

"I got a Ouija board tattooed on my back to trick ghosts into giving me massages."

"Called my boss this morning. Told him I couldn't come in because I had anal glaucoma. ""Anal glaucoma?"" ""What's that?"" he asked. ""I just can't see my ass coming in today."""

"If we're going to do racist jokes How's a Mexican like a cue ball? The harder you hit it the more English it picks up!"

"Why are there no walmarts in Pakistan? Because there's a target on every corner"

"What's the hardest thing about roller blading? Hearing that fucking joke all day."

"I found a dead girl on the golf course It was a difficult shot, but I was able to chip it over her head and right up onto the green."

"I hate broken down white cars on the side of the hwy. They look just like cops when I'm speeding & shitting my pants is getting really old."