93176

Joke of the Day

"I hate broken down white cars on the side of the hwy. They look just like cops when I'm speeding & shitting my pants is getting really old."

"TIL: Every ship is equipped to be a minesweeper at least once"

"To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart 4: Sit back watch Security search for #4"

"My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool."

"Why is leather clothing good for sneaking? It's made of hide"

"My roommate says I have schizophrenia Jokes on him! I don't have a roommate"

"I came up with an excuse for being late I was marching with Martin Luther King, but then some firemen mistook us for fire and tried to put us out; that's why I was late sorry."

"Did you hear about the new winter resort that caters exclusively to men with erectile disfunction? It's called Lake Flaccid."

"What is a Jewish person's first discount? 10% off the penis."

"All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit."