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Joke of the Day

"My wife bought a new plant for for the house. I didn't like it at first... ...but it's starting to grow on me."

"In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says ""everyone be cool! Act normal!"" Expecting that Father of the Year award any day now"

"What does IRE-1 say to XBP1 mRNA? Prepare to get RIDD of your intron."

"I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?"

"it should be illegal for shipping & handling to cost more than the product"

"Why did the boy not do his homework? he was ceebs"

"A roman walks into a bar Holds up two fingers and says five beers please"

"There are two kinds of people in this world Those who finish what they started and"

"I am opening a restaurant called ""Peace and Quiet"" A kid meal is 250"

"How many ""All Lives Matter"" protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time."