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Joke of the Day

"they say each cigarette you smoke takes 7-11 minutes off your life, last year i smoked 11,000 i dont look a day younger"

"It's not really murder if you're already dead to me."

"NFL Not Female Lovers Nail Females Limp Nasty F...ckig Liars Not Fair Losers"

"I wonder how many people on Tumblr only watch TV shows so they can find things to make into GIFs."

"A cop stops a prostitute... and asks have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before? ""No, but I've been swung around by my titties."""

"One of the main goals for Republicans is to close our Borders. Well, mission accomplished. I hear they're going after Books-A-Million next."

"Why did the little tugboat do what all of the other tugboats told him to do? Pier pressure"

"A woman walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre So the bartender gave it to her."

"Lindsay Lohan said she's voting for Mitt b/c ""employment is really important right now"" Like it's Obama's fault no one wants to hire her."

"What is the biggest compliment you can pay at a gay bar? Pushing in somebody's stool."