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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a midget in a hospital waiting room constantly complaining about how long he's been waiting? Imp-Patient!"

"Two rabbits were being chased by a group of hunters One turned to the other and asked ""Do we make a run for it or stay here and outnumber them?"""

"my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place"

"In 2017 I'm going to start eating healthy again. This marks the end of my cheat decade."

"A Jewish kid asks his dad for 50 bucks. His dad says, ""40 dollars? What do you want 30 dollars for?"""

"I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it."

"kids telling dirty jokes http://www.vice.com/series/kids-telling-dirty-jokes best. shit. ever."

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new haircut? Neither has he."

"What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name You didn't hold the pillow down long enough."

"My wife asked me why I suddenly froze in one position during sex. I said: ""It's a new move I learned from PornHub. It's called 'buffering'."""