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Joke of the Day

"What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name You didn't hold the pillow down long enough."

"Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: One of its legs is both the same."

"How much of Canada has a person from Iqaluit seen? Nunavut."

"If I text you first you are probably amazing."

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4rM4oj-u3A"

"Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race? (WTF?) His thighs were burning too bad."

"My cat Minton just swallowed a shuttle cock. Bad Minton."

"Did you hear about the guy who ran over himself? He asked a kid to go across the street to get a pack of smokes, the kid said ""No!"", so he ran over himself."

"Benedict Arnold's boy pointed out the front window ...and pointed at a maple. ""Look daddy, a bush,"" he said excitedly. ""That's not a bush,"" Benedict replied, ""that's a tree son."""

"In a parallel universe, cartoons are watching us and thinking ""how sad, they die if you drop an anvil on their heads..."""