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Joke of the Day
"I once farted in an apple store and people got evacuated.. ...because there wasn't any windows."
Next Joke
"I consider myself a hopeless romantic because I only fall in love with women who are out of my league."
"[first date] ""What's wrong?"" I don't like the ambulance in this place [sniggering] ""You mean ambience"" [next table] NEE NAW NEE NAW WOOOOOO"
"What smells of cheese and is filled with holes? About 100 French people right now"
"[Job Interview] ""It says here under skills, that you can eat rice?"" *Eats rice with chop sticks* ""Holy shit! When can you start?!"""
"What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? Snowballs."
"They say that Insanity is hereditary... you get it from your kids."
"""Can we talk tomorrow?"" is my way of saying ""I'll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?"""
"Father's Day was probably an awkward day in the Jesus household"
"What is a dark comedy? A black guy with small ^dick."