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Joke of the Day

"What is an aliens favorite keyboard key The space key"

"Some delivery guy knocked on my door today and said, ""I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."" I replied, ""You've got the wrong house then, haven't you?"""

"I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores"

"My dad was an illiterate pirate Tragically, he was lost at C."

"RICK AND MORTY SEASON 3 RELEASED! Just not in this dimension.."

"The British Pound? You mean the British Ounce."

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff... bahhh dum hisss"

"Some woman at my office just said Star Trek when we were all talking about Star Wars and now our IT guy is refusing to fix her computer."

"I thought my date had big man hands... until I realized I was sitting in the wrong seat in the theater after coming back from the restroom"

"*pays $20 for deluxe car wash* *hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*"