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Joke of the Day

"RICK AND MORTY SEASON 3 RELEASED! Just not in this dimension.."

"Hell is probably just thousands of tourists trying to take pictures of you walking a cat."

"Nothing says ""I love you"" like my cat aggressively bathing herself immediately after I pet her."

"6:30 is the best time on a clock... ...hands down."

"Have you heard about that new dating app for serial killers? It's called Skinder"

"My neighbour really pissed me off last night... He kept playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over. I wouldn't mind normally but it was all night long."

"I'm always suspicious of stairs. They're usually up to something."

"Sorry, I can't take your call right now, I'm all tied up. -submissive's answering machine."

"Why do you always see beggars at protests? They're always looking for some sort of change!"

"Brain: stop eating! Me: why B: you'll get fat M: so? B: there's only enough vodka to catch a buzz on an empty stomach! M: oh *stops eating*"