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Joke of the Day

"*pays $20 for deluxe car wash* *hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*"

"I think I invented some new Kama sutra moves trying to reach the remote without getting up."

"What's Tom Brady's favorite type of chip? Cheat-Ohs!"

"I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay."

"I hardly ever drink Only 2 times a year to be exact On my birthday, And when it's not my birthday"

"Why was the chicken afraid to cross the road? Because it's a chicken."

"How do you tell if a man is gay? When you're fucking him in the ass, reach around; if he has a boner... He's gay"

"Who is the world s worst golfer? Hitler"

"I only believe 2 things 1. Respect a woman that says no 2. Never take no for an answer"

"Girl, are you my brake pads and rotors? Because I'd like to grind on you until you groan loudly and I have to replace you."