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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to take up yoga. I contacted a yoga instructor and told him I wanted to be able to do the splits. He said ""what's your flexibility like?"" I said ""I can't do Tuesdays""."

"How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts? ""LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!"""

"What does the perverted frog say? Rubbit!"

"What did the vegan say when he saw someone familiar? I've seen herbivore."

"Why was the computer stressed out when it got home from work? 'Cause it had a hard drive."

"The one good thing about having a kid with Zika virus... even if he achieves major success in life, he'll never get a big head."

"Schrodinger's Pussy... There may or may not be a dick in the box."

"I know it's fiction but the logic in The Walking Dead is so skewed it is impossible to suspend disbelief. An Asian guy named Glenn? Please"

"[audition for a vampire tv show] ME: as u can see in my headshots, i'm a vampire CASTING DIRECTOR: theres no one in these photos ME: exactly"

"If you are between 8 -16 years old and not whiskey, you are annoying."