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Joke of the Day

"What does the perverted frog say? Rubbit!"

"A hummingbird is a lot like a songbird, It just doesn't know the lyrics."

"What did Amy Winehouse have in common with the Ghostbusters? They both downed spirits."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'"

"I just shortened my to-do list by 90% simply by crossing off everything that would cause me to make the evening news."

"Safe sex is stupid. Safes can't get pregnant."

"What did the father buffalo say to his son going off to college? Bison."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture."

"How do aliens stay warm? Space heater."

"""Bro she's a cold digger"" [later with gf] Do you only want me for my germs? [she stops licking my face] Why would you ask that?"