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Joke of the Day

"How many gay men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I suppose at least two. But where are you going to find a lightbulb that big?"

"A 79 year old pirate has his next birthday this morning.... he wakes up and says to his crew, ""AYE-matey!"""

"If you hold the iPad up to your ear you can hear the ocean but only for a little while and only if you're standing right next to the ocean."

"If I can make you laugh with a Facebook Status... Imagine what I could do if we met at a bar."

"What do you call an Indian that's been hit by a car? Pindunderjeep"

"Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied 'er!"

"Hitting on women is like doing Parkour.. I can't do Parkour."

"People tell me I use too many cliches. But I take it with a pinch of salt."

"What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? ""The girls get older, but he stays the same age"" -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)"

"Have you heard about Beyonce's new perfume line, Beyotch?"