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Joke of the Day

"I log in facebook to see that everyone is at the bar... I go to the bar to see that everyone is on facebook."

"What do Alicia Keys, Katniss Everdeen, and Joan of Arc all have in common? They're all girls on fire."

"What is comedian and former MTV show host Tom Green's favorite brand of pen? Uni-Ball"

"My doctor's just told me I am suffering from paranoia Well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking"

"What did Data find in Picard's gym sock? The Next Generation"

"What's the hottest hotel in Vegas? The Cosmopolitan"

"My Grandpa: killed 17 Nazis and singlehandedly saved his entire battalion in WWII Me: Sits around all day making up stories about my Grandpa"

"You know instead of saying half a dozen you could just say 6, right?"

"Just saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?"

"Did you know Ice-T has a half-brother? His name is Arnold Palmer."