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Joke of the Day

"TIL the USS Colorado made nearly 12,000 career dives during WWII- significantly more than most modern submarines- and sunk the last Japanese warship of the war! Sorry, wrong sub :("

"Why does Santa have a huge sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"Why do scientists love watching dog shows? They appreciate good lab skills"

"Does anyone else's smart phone make periodic ringing noises?"

"It's interesting how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone."

"I like my women how I like my coffee... Cheap, and from a third world country"

"Went to the doctor I told him everytime I have sex I cry. He explained it's from the mace."

"To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office... ..I will find you. You have my Word. --- Edit: 1000 upvotes. Of course it would be on a self post. :( Thanks though. <3"

"Bats are just rats who had too much Red Bull."

"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."