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Joke of the Day

"The funniest vampire jokes... ... never see the light of day"

"Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend? Because...bros before hose!"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel hanging from his crotch... The bartender asks, ""What's that hangin' off ye?"" The pirate responds, ""arrr! I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!"""

"hey, a mime! *mime starts having heart attack* hes pretending to die lol *mime collapses* *hours later still watching his body* wow hes good"

"The police arrested a prostitute in my neighborhood. She was so startled. I guess you could say she was caught with her pants down"

"So I finally found a girl that swallows... But she's bulimic so it really doesn't count."

"Did you hear about the new viagra eye drops? They just make you look hard."

"There are 4 states of matter... Solids, Liquids, Gases, and Black lives"

"Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community? Because he was transitioning."

"How does Donald Trump plan to silence the terrorists? Muzzle 'em"