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Joke of the Day

"During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel."

"How did Darth Vader know what Leah got Luke for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!"

"My wife asked my why i carry a gun in the house. I looked at her and said ""Decepticons"". She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster. It was a good time."

"I had sex with two indians last night... it was in tents! (intense)"

"I went to the local swimming pool today... And I asked the receptionist, ""How much for 2 children?"" She replied, ""$9.50."" ""Awesome!"" I said. ""Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip?"""

"My wife has been around the block a few dozen times, if you know what I mean. She's a mail carrier."

"Getting straight ""A""s does not guarantee success, but plenty of evidence shows that not getting ""A""s doesn't preclude it."

"TUMBLR What shoes does a tumblr girl wear? *Ughs*"

"Did you hear about the escaped gang of Jamaican stabbers? Poky mon. Gotta catch em all."