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Joke of the Day

"I yell at my grandma to see if she is still alive It's a win win situation, either she's still alive or my inheritance just came in."

Next Joke
 
"If you are ever attacked by a mob of clowns... go for the Juggler"
"[job interview] Boss: What qualifies you to be a ninja? Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*"
"How do you get pikachu on to a boat? You pokemon"
"A lawyer takes the bar"
"If a blue man lives in the blue house and a red man lives in the red house, who lives in the white house? A white man."
"What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? There's only one Bender in Futurama"
"U2 just announced their world tour. Do I need to buy tickets or are they going to break into my house and start playing?"
"How did the media know JFK was cheating on his wife? They saw him getting blown in the back seat."
"I hope when the Avengers meet Spider-Man they give him shit for not helping when NYC got attacked."