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Joke of the Day

"Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into your ass."

"Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written."

"Why did Jesus stop playing hockey? Because he kept getting nailed to the boards."

"I'm single because I'm pretty good at recognizing crazy."

"The bartender says ""We don't serve time travellers here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"My wife is like a delicious strawberry popsicle. Cold on the inside and 90% artificial."

"I ate some Girl Scout Cookies that were way past their expiration date... ...and ended up with a nasty bout of samoanella."

"Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? Because it said concentrate."

"My uncle Aaron is the black sheep of our family. Because he's black. His skin is black. He's a black man."