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Joke of the Day

"Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M."

"""I work with computers."" ""Do you know a lot about computers?"" ""I know they're heavy."" (forgot the comics name, he was on Jay Leno long ago)"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Adolf ! Adolf who ? Adolf ball hit me in the mouth !"

"Sperm 1: ""Geez I'm exhausted, how much further to the Fallopian tubes?"" Sperm 2: ""A long way, we've just passed the tonsils..."""

"How do trees get on the internet? They log in."

"*son wants to go to water park* *bring him to water park* *starts raining* *he starts crying..because he's getting wet* this is why I drink"

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it was pizza."

"Facebook has become the girlfriend you no longer like but are scared to dump"

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"I've lost 10 pounds! Well, I subtracted five for PMS. That Q-Tip I was holding must be at least a pound. Plus my hair was wet. Go, me!"