202473

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into your ass."

"A joke my father told me..."

"I think my wife has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more and more evil... ...I don't know how much she charges him."

"You are what you think you are Her: What do you do? Me: Global prosthetics distribution. Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman? Me: I prefer international arms dealer'."

"I had a dream about mufflers and tailpipes and woke up exhausted"

"When my cat has an accident on the carpet, he hides to escape responsibility. It's a, ""shit and run""."

"An albino guy walks into a tattoo parlor... ...the tattooist looks him over, and asks ""So... what do you want?"" The albino guy replies, ""BEIGE. EVERYWHERE."""

"""Ninja kills Mime"" Nobody heard about it"

"Hey U.S.: if every now and then I heard a ""God PLEASE bless America"", maybe you'd have better luck. #manners"

"I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed."